An Expression, by Andy

Posted by on Aug 14, 2013 in Blog, Featured | 4 comments

An Expression, by Andy

Yesterday morning I found myself filled with anger at a mighty companion who lives here with me. I don’t really know what triggered it, but it seemed to have to do with the evening before, when he suddenly began talking loudly outside the windows of the gathering room where I was conducting a quiet, meditative session. The noise felt distracting, so I brought the session to an end. I was upset because I thought this was personal and demonstrated his lack of respect for me. Deeper than that, a grievance I had held against him from months before rose up inside me. I had never expressed it because I felt ashamed of myself.

So during yesterday’s expression session I said how I felt about him. I did it in such a restrained way, however, that the thoughts didn’t seem to be released. Afterwards I still felt uncomfortably stuck in the same heavy emotional box. I went to see Frances and she accompanied me to his room where, without concern for how it sounded or whether I made sense, I shouted my anger at him, complete with obscenities. Then I left.

This time I felt I had had a cathartic release. But now I felt guilty about what I had said. It certainly hadn’t been the least bit respectful or metaphysically correct. Was I going to be reprimanded or thrown out?

As it turned out, no, not at all. I went on an errand into town with Frances and she assured me that it is all perfect. She said the person had actually been softly saying “beautiful” while I was shouting at him. It was just a clearing of some private thoughts, which, from the spirit perspective, I could finally see weren’t true—meaningless effects from a meaningless cause (ego mind); and with no people-pleasing to protect them this time! Ahhh…

4 Comments

  1. You are so open and authentic, Andy. You are One Mighty Companion for me. Thank you so much for sharing this.

  2. Beautiful Andy!! Much love to you x

  3. Thank you thank you thank you x for sharing such a simple story. It’s actually a direct parable I can use TODAY. Xx

  4. Love you Andy!

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