Yesterday morning I found myself filled with anger at a mighty companion who lives here with me. I don’t really know what triggered it, but it seemed to have to do with the evening before, when he suddenly began talking loudly outside the windows of the gathering room where I was conducting a quiet, meditative session. The noise felt distracting, so I brought the session to an end. I was upset because I thought this was personal and demonstrated his lack of respect for me. Deeper than that, a grievance I had held against him from months before rose up inside me. I had never expressed it because I felt ashamed of myself.
So during yesterday’s expression session I said how I felt about him. I did it in such a restrained way, however, that the thoughts didn’t seem to be released. Afterwards I still felt uncomfortably stuck in the same heavy emotional box. I went to see Frances and she accompanied me to his room where, without concern for how it sounded or whether I made sense, I shouted my anger at him, complete with obscenities. Then I left.
This time I felt I had had a cathartic release. But now I felt guilty about what I had said. It certainly hadn’t been the least bit respectful or metaphysically correct. Was I going to be reprimanded or thrown out?
As it turned out, no, not at all. I went on an errand into town with Frances and she assured me that it is all perfect. She said the person had actually been softly saying “beautiful” while I was shouting at him. It was just a clearing of some private thoughts, which, from the spirit perspective, I could finally see weren’t true—meaningless effects from a meaningless cause (ego mind); and with no people-pleasing to protect them this time! Ahhh…
You are so open and authentic, Andy. You are One Mighty Companion for me. Thank you so much for sharing this.
Beautiful Andy!! Much love to you x
Thank you thank you thank you x for sharing such a simple story. It’s actually a direct parable I can use TODAY. Xx
Love you Andy!