Deciding with Spirit, by Anna

A couple of days ago it was suggested that we use ACIM’s Rules for Decision by deciding what kind of day we want to have before getting out of bed each morning. And so I did. Yesterday morning my decision for the day was to clearly experience that I am on Purpose by living in this community, as opposed to living with my seven-year-old son. I wanted to be clearly shown that Holy Spirit wants me here in this community.

Later in the morning I had a call with my son, who lives in China, but is now visiting my (and his) family in the Netherlands, all by himself. I hadn’t spoken to him for two weeks, and was glad to hear that he was having a great time. Over the next few minutes I told him several times that I love him dearly, I am very proud of him, and that he is the sweetest child in the world. I could feel that he listened.

Then he said what he usually says: “Mom, can we stop talking now, because I want to go out and play with my friends.” I replied that that was fine and we hung up.

The call had lasted five minutes, as usual. And the feelings that came up for me were the usual ones: happy that he is fine, but fearful that I might be losing him. The shortness of the call seemed to tell me that there was a possible problem. Red flags went up. I decided to focus on my function, and to observe the feelings during my projects.

Then one of my mighty companions called me. Our minds joined the instant we started talking and I felt a beautiful flow. I told her about the call with my son and the feelings that had come up afterwards. She joyously said: “Well, if you were there taking care of him 24/7, it would be the same: he would only want to talk to you for five minutes and then go play with his friends.”

Oh my God, I thought, That is so true!!! There is no difference at all!

I can drop the thought that I am guilty of having left him in – seeming – physical form, because everything has stayed the same. Nothing has changed for real. Minds are joined, bodies are not. He is giving me a huge gift: not seeing me as a body.

As I allowed this Truth to sink in, I could feel an expansion in my mind. Something heavy got lifted. Lightness and laughter came in.

Seconds after the call, I got in touch with a very clear choice point: I could chose for joyous celebration that the Truth is expanding in my mind, or I could chose to feel fearful because “Going with this Truth could lead to a further distance from my son.” It was as if a window opened to a deep layer in the mind and I realized that the choice was to be made now.

I decided to celebrate and stick with the joy! And so I got up and shared the experience with several mighty companions who rejoiced together with me. We bounced around the room in celebration. All of this helped me to integrate the decision for Joy in my mind.

Late in the evening, just before falling asleep, the Rules for Decision came back to my mind. The rule of deciding with the Holy Spirit (sometimes in the form of mighty companions)  apparently had “worked” in my mind: I had decided for Joy, and was clearly shown that being here in this community means I am on Purpose. My son is flying high and does not need the body of his mom around. There is full permission to shine in Magnitude!