While working on a beautiful project yesterday, a brother in Utah “disturbed” me with an email request to make a couple of documents. From the subject line of the email it seemed like a light request. But as I read the email I didn’t understand a thing that was asked for. My annoyance grew stronger and stronger until it reached a point where I truly felt belittled and the thought “I’m not your secretary” became a mantra in my mind.
As I was sitting with the irritation I thought, “Hmm I don’t want this! There is nothing outside of me, so here again is something that wants to be healed.” I asked my roommate if she had minute to join with me, so I could express what was coming to mind and that I wanted to see this differently. We spoke about the truth that there isn’t an “I” which could have a problem. Yeah, I know that is true, but as I couldn’t feel it in the moment she suggested just totally allow the feeling to come up.
As I allowed myself to do so, it felt as if there was a lid on top of my head, a feeling of disconnection, and being pushed down. I felt stuck, but nevertheless knew that there was a gift hidden for me in this situation, and I wanted to open it. For a moment I totally accepted it as it was, without personal interference, and as I was doing that I felt a strong power waiting to join me, a power that I was afraid to let it in.
It took me a few seconds to be aware of the fear of this joining, but then I invited it to come in. A strong connection was felt, an energy filling me up, and when my brother asked me what I felt I said, “I feel as if Life itself wants to pour through me! Yes! I remember, it is the Spirit, the Magnitude of who we are that wants to be acknowledged.” I was washed throughout my body with such a strength that I could do nothing else but laugh.
I clearly saw the Gift of all of this: it was to let go of separate roles, to let go of the sacrifice of being little, to join and step into the Magnitude of Who I Am.
I was so happy that I sent an email back to my brother to join about the request. Within seconds her Skype call came in, and as I was sharing the Miracle with her, she shared that in Utah they were just stepping into their Magnitude too, at the same time! Wow, what a joining in Minds, and what a gift to be “disturbed” for!
We never know what something is for, and we don’t know our own best interest.
Being a leader or a follower; it’s the same! Experiencing this over and over again, and letting go of the attraction of pain, letting go of any form of sacrifice, is bringing me the peace of mind I want for keeps! This brother has been such an amazing Gift for me continuously. A big trigger, but a true Gift of Magnitude!
I send a big gratitude from my heart to all of you– angels in disguise, mighty companions! We are all in this together as ONE and I feel eternally grateful for that! Love and blessings of Joy to you all!
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