The Ultimate Hypothetical, by Drew

We recently watched a great movie called ‘Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World’ and from the outset I was trying hard to contemplate my answer to the question of what I would do if the world was coming to an end in three weeks time. It proved to be a major challenge, given that my belief is that the world is here and will be for quite some time to come. Asking myself this question brought with it a long list of further hypotheticals and I rapidly drowned in a tangled mess of thoughts which I suppose would feel similar to falling into a swimming pool of overcooked spaghetti and trying to separate and unravel all the strings.

What if the world was going to end? Or in other words, what if I let go of everything, all at once? What if I shed every trace of fear? What if I stopped using my primitive, caveman way of thinking which has always been illogical and irrational at best and has only ever gotten me into trouble in one form or another? Would I want to do things I haven’t done for a long time, like have sex, smoke a joint and drink a beer? Would I be able to travel or would I have to stay here? Would I want to go be with lovers of the past one last time or be with family? Would I have the need to tell specific people that I love them? Would I need to unleash my deepest confession to all people with whom I hold a grievance? Would I still be afraid of taking my shirt off in public for fear of receiving unwanted attention and being ridiculed for my appearance? Would I have any thoughts of my body whatsoever? What if all thoughts ceased entirely, particularly thoughts of me and my needs and my desires and my so-called life?

The Course tells us that the world is already over; that it’s not really here because it was never really here in the first place. And here I am, expecting to wake up each morning from sleep and then agreeing to follow a schedule of rules and guidelines, projects and tasks, expressing grievances, reeling them back in and forgiving them. What if I abandoned all of this, all thoughts and concepts of the world, all ideas, and all doubts that I am not already at Home with my Father? Would I die before the world dies? Would I just be engulfed in total bliss and pure ecstasy? What, in fact, would happen, and will I ever find out? Am I ready to find out?

When I think about the world ending in a matter of weeks, days or even hours and that I do not have any more time for dillydallying and pretending that I’m scared of this and afraid of that, I think about Indiana Jones in the scene from his third adventure ‘The Last Crusade’ when he had to make a leap of faith off a cliff.

And the final scene of the music video ‘Glósól’ by Sigur Ros.

And the moment ‘Powder’ rejoins with the Source of his light.

Yes, in my current state of mind, the end of the world feels very much like death and destruction and I become acutely aware of what I’m still holding on to and how much fear there still is within me. Would I let it all go? Could I let it all go? And when, because my days are numbered. I just don’t know how many I have left. And what if I haven’t forgiven enough or made peace with myself and with everything? Will another world appear in place of this one, as in the end of the movie ‘The Nines’ and I’ll find myself having to play at pretending to be human again and repeating the whole absurdity?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PL53rnlB0wg

Or, would I be daring enough to take each moment as it comes and see what presents itself, knowing that what comes is Given by Spirit and I need think of nothing at all; that all I’d need do is give myself utterly and completely in total surrender to each moment as it comes and goes.

Could I live like that right now?
Would all these questions just dissolve?

What if…?